Jan 1, 2024
I’m ashamed to report how long it has taken me to paint these two very small paintings. It’s certainly not because they were miniatures, hardly. They’re both 8” x 10”.
Doable? Maybe, maybe not.
I had lots of excuses along the way: traveling, house projects, a game arm, all the painting I did earlier in the year. In the end, pretty hollow stuff.
What really happened was I froze. I’d come into the studio and I’d get an odd feeling in my stomach. It was beyond simple procrastination (though I got my Girl Scout’s badge in that this fall) it was as if I had suddenly forgotten how to pick up a brush and forge ahead, fearlessly.
Yeah, I was afraid.
I was afraid I’d screw them up. I was afraid they’d be bad. I was afraid of being afraid and so I simply avoided. Of course, I got a lot of other things done this year (11 paintings in all) but not much in the months of September, October, November and December!
Then, the other day I found a video I’d created early last year while working on one of my favorite paintings, Parting Company. In it, I explained my process and then provided a time-lapse of the work accomplished that day. As I watched that video something inside of me switched back on. I rediscovered the joy I feel when I’m painting. The way the painting reveals itself to me as I wrestle with how to handle color, how to describe the light and shadow. How to bring drama or calm, longing or regret to the canvas.
Suddenly I could hardly wait to finish those little paintings. All it took was to find a way to turn that switch back on! And these are the result, Kindred No. 3 and Kindred No. 4.
So, from my studio to you, I hope you find a way to banish fear and to find inspiration and beauty in this brand spanking New Year.
Paintings l to r: Kindred No. 4 & Kindred No. 3 © Lissa Banks 2023